It’s been a full week since my final trip to Yaounde to get my visa sorted.  I got into a patterned of classes and then leaving – wondering around the big city by myself and not worrying about it.  Being here for an extended time has been both a good and bad thing.  Not having to move around has allowed me a lot more perspective on the program and chance to watch the kids – to see how they are absorbing the information.  Not expending so much effort on logistics made my discontent here come to the forefront in a very real way.

 

I am not prone to severe depression – I am, however, susceptible to the blues.  I had a major case of the blues last week.  I miss my friends, I wish I had closer friends here, I wish I was more confident in my work, I wish I had co-workers to see everyday, and an office to go to.  Working here is actually more like being unemployed then I had expected.  Everyday I have to get my own butt up with no one expecting me to and sit in front of the computer and do some work.  Whether I’m in my PJ’s or what.  The only thing keeping me accountable is myself and that is difficult in a place like Cameroon for even the most steadfast of workers. 

 

This weekend I made a conscious choice to get over my blues.  I can’t change my circumstances but I can chose to make the best out of it.  I designed a quiz game for the kids in preparation for the end of their section on Internet research and new media websites.  I’m organizing the kids into their advocacy groups.  I’m putting the finishing touches on a document Erin and I are submitting to the U.S. Embassy and I’m instituting office hours at the school, hopefully.

 

This last initiative I hope will provide two positives:  1.  The kids will get more time on the computer to check their emails, play on Twitter and Facebook, use cameras, and ask questions.  2.  I hope that having a place to go and people to see will help me stay motivated when I get the blues.  It’s a matter of getting permission – which I dno’t think will be a problem – but we’ll see today.

 

I’m anxious to get started and hopeful for the coming weeks.  I’ll let you know how it goes here.